This post is based on something I've thought about several times over the past few years but have recently really spent some time considering in depth.
What do I mean, glamorise your own life? Am I passive aggressively telling you to shove it? No.
I'm thinking about motivation. People ask me, "how did you stay motivated to lose weight?" and the thing is, I didn't. Motivation is a bullshit concept. Motivation lasts all of a few days. What makes a lasting impact is behavioural changes. Motivation can be a part of getting the ball rolling for that behavioural change, but you can bet your sweet ass I don't roll out of bed every day feeling "motivated"
In a world infiltrated by social media, it's so easy to be comparing ourselves to everyone else. We all do it. But whether or not that creates a problem for you is to do with, in my opinion, what you do with the comparison, and what perspective you're taking on that comparison. Your lens is the important part. You've (hopefully) heard the saying "don't compare your "behind the scenes" to someone elses "highlight reel"" (social media is generally a highlight reel and everyone should keep this in mind when using it imo)
We watch movies, set in New York, set in places we haven't been. We watch shows where young adults live in run down flats but have cool quirky friends and make mistakes but pick themselves back up and they're not cool but people like them anyway. The plotline is irrelevant, how it makes us feel is the key. We watch, maybe we envy. Maybe it's inspiring. Maybe it makes us wish we could just travel and make money off instagram like those other girls and maybe we think we don't have our shit together.
What are these disjointed points I'm making? Let me try and cohesively stick this together to convey what it is I'm doing when I'm glamorising my own damn life.
We need to stop applying a magical filter to how we look at other peoples lives and how we look at TV etc, and instead we need to apply that filter to our own lives. What is exciting and inspiring about a show where young adults get fired from their jobs or leave uni and go on crazy adventures and do stupid things? Nothing, that's basically the life many of us have. What's glamorous about a hot girl on instagram with a detox tea who's on holiday in Bali? Nothing, we can go to Bali and drink tea.
But we don't use the magical lens when we look at ourselves. When I watch gossip girl and see Blake Lively (Serena) going to work, walking down those cool Upper East Side streets, going to do admin or whatever the heck her job even ended up being, and I feel this sense of nostalgia (which it isn't but that's the closest feeling I can think of ha) that I'm somehow missing out, yet my own life is fantastic? But why doesn't it feel the same?
So I started applying this lens to myself. I'm glorifying my own routine and my life. If it's cool and exciting for Blake Lively to walk down the street and go to work, it's cool when I do it too.
The point I'm making might sound weird but basically, any life any of us choose to live can be a great one. Solo mum raising a baby? There are shows we've envied about that. Recovering from a drug addiction? There's a show we've watched thinking their life was somehow more inspiring than ours. Trying to get fit? There's 9 billion instagram accounts we've compared ourselves to about exactly that.
What does this look like in practice? Basically, I just get excited about my own damn life. Busy day where I have to go to hospital and then to the gym and then to an appointment and then write up a case? Badass, look at me go living my cool metropolitan life in this big city, achieving my life goals and looking after myself. Just because I can't make a movie about it or take a hot instagram picture doesn't change the fact that I can look at what I'm doing as being flipping awesome.
And if right now you're thinking "oh yeah but you're all into the gym and training to be a doctor and I'm just x,y,z" well I have news for you sister, 1) I wasn't always here and 2) any life, literally any life, can be exciting if you choose to feel that way about it. Whatever your goals are, they ARE exciting and you can feel inspired about your own life. Lets go back to the solo mum example. How cool is it to be raising a small child in the best possible way you can? Achieving all these tasks around the house, making a healthy dinner, doing some reading while your baby sleeps, learning how to make bread, planning your week out to have extra time for a quick workout here and there. It's fucking fantastic and it's literally the kind of thing you would watch on TV and think so differently about, just because it's someone else and because it's told as a story.
Your life IS your story. You are the director and you are the lead actor. You are also the viewer, and as the viewer, you can choose the mindset you adopt when you look at it. Even the small stuff, because really, the small stuff leads to the big stuff.
None of this means you have to become narcissistic and believe you're the centre of everyone's universe, it's just acknowledging that you are the centre of your own and it's a good thing to feel positively about your day-to-day life. That feeling positively about the nitty gritty shit, the "behind the scenes", is what can lead to positive behavioural changes that in turn lead to an even better life. It's keeping a reality check on that spectrum of comparison.
In summary, own your damn trip to the supermarket. If Blake Lively was doing it we'd be lovin' it.